Stress Relief

You've heard me stress how you should enjoy the wedding planning process and that if you're not having fun then take a break from it.

I know of brides who quit their jobs to plan their wedding, who took a semester off of school to plan their weddings and even those who got so overwhelmed they practically had a nervous breakdown. Yes wedding planning can be stressful, but it's important to realize when you are stressed and overwhelmed by it all and take a break.

There's nothing wrong with not talking or thinking about your wedding plans for a day or two or even a week. Go to a spa for a massage with a girlfriend or a couple's massage with your fiance, pick up a good book, go to the movies or go shopping for something other than wedding details. Just relax.

Once you have calmed down and let off some steam then you can go back to planning with a fresh start.

Remember wedding planning should be fun.

Sneak Peek: Runway Trend Report on the WPN

Get a preview of my interview with the Wedding Podcast Network on the latest trends from October 2009 Bridal Market:




Loved working with you, Robert and Holli, can't wait to hear the complete show!

Friendly Email Reminders

We're off to a wedding this weekend and since no one including the bride and groom are from Newport, Rhode Island it is definitely a destination wedding.

The groom emailed guests about 10 days ago with a list of recommended sites and restaurants so we could make plans ahead of time and enjoy the weekend away. Since the couple didn't create a wedding Web site I thought his email was a great idea.

While I am an organizer when it comes to trips -- I like to plan the whole thing weeks before we take off -- I haven't had time to really look into happenings around Newport and it turns out it's Restaurant Week. In his email he gave us a list of his top picks and enough notice so we were sure to get a reservation at the spots we wanted to try.

Of course a wedding Web site is great to update your guests on wedding planning information, a friendly email with reminders and information doesn't hurt, and it doesn't cost anything either. I highly recommend putting information together -- especially when guests are traveling to a location -- and sending it to guests ahead of time so they can make plans for meals and activities during non-wedding activity times.

Taking Your Parents Money

In the past few weeks I’ve heard from several industry insiders that if you pay for your wedding you don’t have to listen to your parents or anyone else for that matter. And while I don’t disagree that when mom and dad are paying they have a stronger say in what your wedding looks and feels like that doesn’t mean that if you pay for the wedding on your own that you can disregard them completely.

You have to remember that your parents have been looking forward to your wedding day longer than you have and this celebration is just as much about/for them as it is about/for you and your groom.

If you're worried that if you take money from your parents they will be demanding regarding what they want or don’t want for your wedding you should have an open discussion with them before you take their check. Maybe you need to be very specific as to what their money is going toward and if you include them in choices they won't give you as hard a time than if you don't.

Here’s an idea that may work for you and your parents: You should do all the research on the vendors you want to meet with and possibly hire. Once you’ve narrowed down the vendors in a category to two or three bring your mom (and dad) with you to each vendor and have her help you and your groom make that final decision. You don’t have to do this for every vendor but by making your parents feel included in your wedding plans you may help your relationship during the entire process.

And you know what, maybe mom and dad will have some good ideas!

Wedding Planning Dealbreakers

I’m watching an episode of 30 Rock and it turns out that Liz Lemon wrote a book on relationships and specifically what is a dealbreaker in relationships. Some of her dealbreakers include:

• If he collects action figures


• If he lives with his mom


• If he is over 35 and wears a name tag

Now I’m not saying that I agree or disagree with any of these but it got me thinking about dealbreakers when it comes to wedding planning.

Every bride has ideas regarding what she does and doesn’t want for her wedding and when meeting with potential vendors there are certain dealbreakers that will automatically make you think, “hmmm…not hiring him.”

When you’re meeting with vendors, have an idea about what you expect from them. The services you want and need provided, their style and taste level and of course budget.

It’s very important that you know what you want from vendors when you are metting with them and especially when deciding which ones you want to hire. And of course you have to let your vendors know what your expectations are when meeting with and hiring them.

Purple Wedding Palette Inspiration

I went for lunch with some Brooklyn-based bloggers last weekend and one of them told me that my wedding cake was featured in a recent post on The Bride's Guide Blog. So of course I had to find the post and read it!

Carolyn Veith Krienke, the Martha Stewart Weddings Color and Design Expert featured an inspiration board for "A Purple Color Palette" and it included our wedding cake made by Ron Ben-Israel and our stationery suite designed by Snow & Graham.

Here's the link to the purple color palette inspiration board where you can find the details for the images included.


Photo Credit: Martha Stewart Weddings/The Bride's Guide Blog

British Planner Mark Niemierko's #1 Tip

On the first day of bridal market I met Mark Niemierko, London's top wedding planner. Mark and I discussed the dresses coming down the runway and I taped his review of market for the Brides.com tweeter feed, @brides, but I also asked Mark for his top tip for brides that I could share with my From "I Will" to "I Do" readers. Here's what he had to say:

"I think my top tip to a Bride and Groom planning their wedding is to enjoy the planning process as much as the day itself. Remember it's also your engagement period - A time you'll never have again once married! Focus on the main factors of your wedding early on such as booking your venue, selecting the key vendors and then working on the details as you get through. Once your venue is booked for example a lot more comes into place, and then you can really start thinking about the details such as place settings, floral bouquets and so on." —Mark Niemierko

You can learn more about Mark and the weddings he has designed on his Web site, niemierko.com, and don't forget to follow him on his twitter feed, @MarkNiemierko.


Photo Credit: The Satoralist

Wedding Cake Inspiration

I’m a huge proponent of the wedding cake. To me it’s one of the staples of a wedding reception but of course some couples prefer cupcakes or pies or instead of one big cake they have a selection of smaller cakes on display.

While there is always the classic white tiered bride’s cake, wedding cakes can come in any shape, size or flavor. Don’t be afraid to ask for something you think is untraditional. Your baker will most likely enjoy working out of the box and creating something different.

The best way to get ideas is to click through online galleries of cakes on sites like Martha Stewart Weddings, The Knot and Brides.com, but you should also click through portfolios of bakers. Your local baker will probably have his or her gallery online but you should also look through sites of bakers who are not in your area. There is no reason why you can’t bring an image of a cake that inspires you from a baker based in California to a baker in your hometown in Ohio.

The images above are from a New York City baker, Liz Shim of Eat Cake Be Merry. Liz can create wedding cakes, cupcakes, cookies and other sweet treats that both you and your guests will enjoy. You can learn more about Eat Cake Be Merry, including view their online gallery at eatcakebemerry.com.

A Brilliant Tip from Sarah at Brilliant Event Planning

I just got home from the Lion in the Sun event—which was so much fun—and I wanted to share with you one of the tips my co-panelists brought up.

Sarah from Brilliant Event Planning mentioned that you shouldn't wait until the last minute to write and print your programs. And she's right. You probably know your bridal party members and the outline for the ceremony long before your invitations even go out. All that's left is the songs in your processional and there's no reason that the ceremony playlist has to wait until the month before the wedding to be finalized.

You should start drafting the information that will be included in your wedding program: members of the bridal party, ceremony order (with or without descriptions) a thank you to your parents and any other important information—readings, psalms or mentioning a charitable donation—about four months before the wedding so you have time to make revisions and have them printed. You also want to decide on the format: bound booklet, folded paper or printed on a fan. You can even have your program coordinate with your invitation and discuss ideas when ordering your invites. And don't forget that the more elaborate the design, the more time it will take you to put them together.

Real Wedding Inspiration and Event!

Real weddings featured in magazines and on Web sites (including blogs) off beautiful inspiration for couples still in the planning process. Brides-to-be can also learn about talented vendor in their area and in some stories you get some great planning tips.

While flipping through magazines and sites don’t forget to read the copy while you’re glancing at the photos. The couple may be able to offer some wedding wisdom that could help you with some part of your plans.

If you live in the New York area, Brooklyn specifically, you may want to check out the real wedding inspiration and tips event at Lion in the Sun tomorrow evening from 7-9pm. I’ll be on a panel with Vane from Brooklyn Bride, Sarah from Brilliant Event Planning, Xochtil from Always a Blogsmaid and Loren from Naturally Delicious.

Guests at the event will receive a 10% off coupon on their future purchase at Lion in the Sun and if you hire Naturally Delicious to cater your wedding you’ll receive 10% off your menu if you book by the end of the year.

Lion in the Sun is located at 232 7th Avenue. Hope to see you there!

For the First Time, Mr & Mrs...

I recently came across an invitation for our friends' wedding from 2007. (I save almost every paper element from the weddings we've been to, don't you?) Overall I have to say it was one of the nicest weddings. The food was delicious, the music was great and we had a good time. The bride and groom made sure that their personalities were part of every detail.

The wedding was in DUMBO, a neighborhood in Brooklyn, and the theme of the wedding was New York, New York. While they didn’t name every table after a famous street (like I did at my NY, NY bat mitzvah), there were a lot of NYC elements including the ceremony which took place in Brooklyn Bridge Park, a New York City picture book served as their guest book and the last song of the night was Frank Sinatra’s New York, New York, and of course all the guests formed a Rockettes-type kick line.

One of my favorite moments was the bridal party and couple’s entrance. They chose Twist & Shout and when each person was announced they did The Twist. If you’re planning on making a big entrance talk to your DJ or band leader about playing a fun and unique song that’s very you. I remember another couple we know made their entrance to White Wedding by Billy Idol.

Making a Destination Wedding Legal

I was doing some research on celebrity weddings and I realized that a lot of celebs get married abroad. But in the details of the wedding it doesn’t mention that if you want to legally get married at an international destination you have to get a license – just like in the States – and that some countries have specific requirements that you must follow. When celebrities say “I do” abroad they also have to follow the law.

Remember when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got hitched in Italy? They actually had civil ceremony in California that made their wedding legal. The same thing for Bruce Willis. His Caribbean wedding wasn’t actually legal until he and his bride tied the knot in a civil ceremony after they returned from their intimate ceremony and reception abroad.

When planning an international destination wedding I recommend working with a wedding planner. In addition to helping you find quality vendors, he or she can also help you navigate getting a license.

Some countries are stricter than others when it comes to a marriage license. In France you have to be a resident for 30 days while in some Caribbean islands you only have to be there for a few days to get a license. There’s nothing wrong with getting married abroad and then making it legal in a civil (or religious) ceremony back home. And there’s no reason you need to tell anyone about your second wedding unless you want to.